Valentine’s Day is the day of love for some, the day of crippling loneliness for others who care about Valentine’s Day and then it is the day for Hallmark to make loads of money off of people who are still in the honeymoon stage and buy into the “day of love.” Hallmark tells us that Valentine’s Day is the day of celebrating “love” with someone, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Valentine’s Day is for guys to buy their “significant other” a gift. Ladies, let’s not act like you buy the guy anything in return. On a serious note, good for everyone that does have a Valentine today. I hope you all end your day like the “Lady and the Tramp” Disney movie.
For those without a valentine, let me get your attention away from homework and tell some jokes about the day because Valentine’s day can get pretty cliche, and people who fall for those cliches deserve a shoutout.
First, shout out to those who fell for the “stuffed bear on a shelf” trap at your local Walgreens before becoming single that very second for actually giving them that uncomfortable, overly big and shiny bear. Second, shout out to those who were smart enough to avoid the bear, but decided to buy that heart shaped box of old, stale, nasty candy that’s probably been sitting in the back of the store since last Valentine’s Day. Third, shout out to those that got a gift for their valentine to then be dumped within the next week. I’m not sure about you, but I think that should borderline be considered a crime. Fourth, shout out to those who are reading and bought the kiddy fold up Valentine’s Day card that have your favorite cartoon character on them. You’re too old for that.
Lastly, for all of those who do have someone in mind, or for those that didn’t fall into the cliche Walgreen gifts, how about a nice flower for your Valentine? If you’re someone who’s a last minute shopper, someone who believes in “love at first sight” or someone who just likes the smell of flowers, head down to the main street table to purchase your rose for your special Valentines.